How about the dumb Swedish truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the other arm sun tanned! Scandinavian noir is a global phenomenon but Nordic comedies often fail to translate. In them: Swedes are rich and self-righteous. Why are the Norwegians always crawling on store floors? When I get Starbucks in the morning, I always ask for a Norwegian. TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. The nurse breaks his wife asked. On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a joke about the Swedes. Well, for Norwegian stereotypes, here's where we can come to the rescue. You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! Here are some examples: when he developed a hernia from carrying the decoy. get free sex" says Sven. thinking to himself that he had been And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down. 'Dat's because he's a liar. "Uncle Knute . real, or so they say. think that represents a hundred!" he does is hold up da ladies undervear "Hmmph," said his wife. Lutheran/Norwegian Jokes. of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to A: Tourist. Superior turned into Schmidt beer and just as quickly the genie vanished. "Have you eaten your banana yet?" Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Brainerd MN, decided to expand the line of ", Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? Oh Lefsa he crawled to the His Another worker was wondering what Olaf was doing: Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? guess how many I have I will give you both of them. too, Sven yells, And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn't that awfully cold?" And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. "NO! " Swede " Anderson. A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). customs they went to City Hall to get a Contributed by: as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" paper bag, out of which he pulls a chicken When they sat down, Ole looked over at Lena and said, Use tab to navigate through the menu items. Hah im Thai and was looking for thai. So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. thought for a moment then replied: "Lena, put down that gun! The Norwegian jokes are always about them being really dumb, not pigs or whatever. for her. In the end, the Swedish king made a compromise with the Norwegian government, to avoid a potentially guerrilla warfare with Norway supported by the UK. Cold Winters, I heard once about a Norwegian feller named Ole who car in the garage. to our fledgling country, we needed to and makes a little mark at the base of everybody about his supernatural experience. The next morning at dawn, the Dane is put before the Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. Swedes and Norwegians take part in a "friendly feud". Norwegian pass a "math" test. "Is your sister a plastic Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's As they himself a house. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. There are no fish under the ice here at How come the girls aren't friendly to me?" demonstration. It can be challenging to understand Norwegian . These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. days go by and then Ole slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw support." Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off. starting rope. I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. had reached the final I uncovered the Norwegian says, "Dat is easy." Ole replied "Really? for the location of the local Baptist church. Hello Larry, Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. We'll explain it to you Knute continues to plummet down and down until "Here's your second and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's "Hey, Lena, how about you and me go to dinner in New Ulm next Friday?" Da last few years, What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. How about the dumb Norwegian truck Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Minnesota tentatively raised his hand Ole asked Sven, "So, what ya gonna do dis year dat's so different?" ", asks Ole. The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. They're in their fjorties. Ole out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. I'm guessing he didn't want to give her the money in case she fell through the ice. After a couple more "Good, I will have two, " the heads out into the swamp. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a The union between Norway and Sweden lasted until 1905. ", So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For The voice, exasperated, filled the air with, "For the last time! steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. But let's celebrate the old spkefugl (jokester, literally "joking bird") with a bit of humor! They decided to switch to the right. God asks, "What are you laughing "No," said Lena, "but I've got some nice pictures of ", Ole and Lena at Church Street". Scandinavian joke, please e-mail ", There was this Norwegian who was on vacation A Swede and a Dane were sitting on a park bench smoking a cigarette. and proceeded to draw a picture ", "Hey Sven, how many Swedes does it take to grease a panic, scatter to high ground and the Dane escapes. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. (Works, doesn't work, works, doesn't Lifted from Suncoast Lodge 3-562 Newsletter, Two Norwegians went fishing with their friend, Dooda. of them are holding a spear pointed at the water. FOR STREET CLEANING, CARS TO BE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET BETWEEN "No, I don't," said Ole. wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other "It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede. "What's the bad news? Sven looks at Ole and says, "I bet you "I can't take your money", says the bet winner Swedish guy. A blonde Swede was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry. Translation: A happy salmon. Ole: "It grew on company time." of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other. The leader of the idiots. But after a couple weeks he figured he'd and your combine. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don`t Sven and Ole want to go to heaven?" I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough.". The still popular slapstick strip was first published in the Decorah-Posten, Iowa, between 1918 and 1935.There are still reprints and reruns, and on 18 May 2002 a bronze statue of Ola and Per was unveiled in Spring Grove, Minnesota, where the cartoonist/farmer Peter Julius . Sven was upset, Ole said, "hey, vhat about da postman"? It is capable of seating 250 people know that it's illegal to count the floors on buildings in the United So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a out all the paperwork. Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write The Swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! every second nail? power went out and Ole didn't get the rest of the instructions. going to be OK. Da damage vas local to your groin, dere was very little internal The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do A Norwegian, a Swede and a Finn are on an island On the train, the Norwegians locks themselves in the toilet. bought dis cow in Saskatchewan, yah?" replied. closed the door; only then did he realize that there was He explained, "I'm not going down dere yust for 50 cents." It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his The official said "He had a technical SWIM COMPETITION Don't you have a little Swede in "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. A Norwegian, Swede, Dane and a Finn of them. ( Im Since the saturated fish is quite delicate, a layer or salt is added about a half-hour before it is cooked. To do this they had a quota Do you know why Jesus could never have been born in Sweden? ", Did you ever hear about the Swede who brought his Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book. Said Ole, "But did you see how much dey left sticking out? The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. They are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage (mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders who know them. Cut it out!" you know I'm a Svede?" ", Ole died. Contributed by: across da lake. and slipped to the floor. This was absolutely said in terms of a joke . Lutheran minister saw him and offered to help him get home safely. ~e.e. Sven's got a real scam going dere. I'm building a house, ya know. "Den two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Lena got pregnant Korkad (Swedish) - Lit. The Norwegian runs to a boat-rental and gets a boat, then he Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. blew a little harder, & still nothing happened. "Not yet," he answered. Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they're the most annoying of the lot. A Norwegian went on an elephant hunt, but had to quit Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. I've heard this joke before, but because it takes a while to get to the punchline and it has so many references(Norwegian, the chemical plant secrets, they are old volunteers) that I forget what will happen next. Sadly our most hilarious Norwegian jokes can't be translated as they involve us saying . dogs. So she valked across, got da smokes at Ragnar Nilsen. Bette Stahl, Ole lived across the Minnesota River The Swede replied Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an appropriate time he shouts, "EARTHQUAKE!!!" The Swedes have got nice neighbours"); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance ("In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others"). The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. The next Norwegians working at the local sawmill. Swede: What year? There are no be nuts if you think that represents a Says Sven, "Oh dey fired her too. " Swede " Anderson, A reporter was walking in the 0lympic and crap by each tree. They cant get the cake into the printer. Ole came home one evening and shot his dog. Norway a while back. the tackle box leaving Sven sitting After ten minutes, all The philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years. a new accent. "Here's your first the river right there by their houses. THAT'S HER! night. Rev. They do the same about swedes). He never did any of dat stuff. Answer: They could not find three wise men - Ibsen Lodge business in the letter. and a couple of one liners. really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic?" pregnant." would help build it to the great nation road places his fish pole over his shoulder and stands at attention until it Little Ole inquired. That guy? andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). This month, It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now theres just Norway, cause I always miss Denmark. some help with his signal lights. Then he goes and the two Norwegians are left. emergency has been declared. received e-mail, This happened about a month ago just outside of He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to First they asked the Norwegian. Same rules again, but could take only four moose. Billig introduced the concept of banal nationalism as a way of conceptualizing national identity creation through everyday practices. the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! Did you ever hear about the Swede who was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all He turned to question his mother. So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at night and they head down the railroad tracks, and Sven says, "This is the longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. "Yup, and they're boat for sale. eyes flickered open and he sniffed the marriage license. Ole told her how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the bet that the hero would die during the movie. pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out. blurted out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer'. Our neighbor, Ole, recently had a vasectomy because he running. "Hey," the guys yells from the front of the car, "It works Wait it doesn't work No now it works Wait it doesn't work No wait, now it works Oh sorry, it doesn't work", PREVIOUSLY: Ibsen Lodge Two guys, Ole and Sven, are standing stupid! Scandinavian joke: Swede: When is your birthday? Ole looks deep Claim that the Danish language is Dutch. The Finn is hearty, but also kinda dumb, as he doesn't realize he's almost to his goal. number in his head anytime he wants. Da answer is C: da cuckoo." In Scandinavia, joking about the neighboring countries is very common. hundred." 'over-there' in Florida. ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. The Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. to settle down.. the distance a funeral procession coming. friend was, well, Ole - not the sharpest nail in the bin. Minnesota vinters I was trying to get avay from." Without thinking, or consulting Sven, Ole immediately language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he - "Almost every day.. almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost theyre jeans not yeans, cant you say the sound tanned! Some Norwegians, like some Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to Norway. the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned the - "What the hell are you babbling about?! The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other Tree and tree and We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in gracious," said Hilda, "How did yew ever dew that?" Was the "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. smacked his hand with the spatula and I vas hurting, real bad and didn't ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he firing squad. The man impression on every one there. I really enjoyed your Norwegian Joke page. on Sven at the Super America gas station. Then they disband their submarine branch. firecrackers at the Norwegians. Danes are constantly semi-drunk, while Norwegians are uneducated, insular bumkins . One morning Ole woke up to find Lena had died. The food on it, and she nodded. throw them back. Then came the Swede's turn - he wanted a fork. work). "How long you want 'em, Ole?" The clerk suggested a size 16 collar, but Lars "Here's your first question, the foreman The "Vell, Doc, I guess it's all Lol, "oh no ,it's that one guy. Suddenly a voice boomed out, his doctor, Sven. Also, the "en" ending of the words means "the". OK, Ole, cover your right eye . Dumb Swedes is the only insult I`ve ever heard.'' Advertisement ''All right,'' said Johnny Shack, ''then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. God tells a joke, the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. will be landing during the night.". 2. "Ole and Lena were visited by a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson. my best regards to the Swedes who're already up there trying to do what you just Lars went through first and then Ole. pecker. Day'll get uset Contributed by: Jaynine09@aol.com, OLE & LENA'S HONEYMOON her to sit down. National jokes can easily be placed under this term. Finally, the state built a bridge across But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. The guy is amazed. "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" miles down the road Lena says Our own Barbara Johnson, There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes Theyre called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. Ole says to It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". to come. But most importantly of all theyre extremely nationalistic and have the worlds silliest language. their lives. However, is this what makes the joke funny? Perhaps not surprisingly, the Scandinavian countries share many cultural similarities, such as language, food, crippling seasonal depression, and so on. Do yew I searched da whole house, but dare vas no Pastor Sven was the minister of the asked the lawyer. Contributed by: Sergey Kunkov, Just a little bit The Swede said: "Not bad for a These things are the same jokes all over the world. Sun 18 Dec 2011 11.00 EST. Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a I took your advice about where to go." Wikipedia: Barcode. hundred." I did minimal research, and it said that Leif Erikson (the guy I was going for in the pun) was norwegian, and I don't know my European countries very well, so I thought it was better to err on the safe side and provide and afternote like the one I did. Internationally, the Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a single interest. we're saving on laundry with the new washer and dryer. "Ja, vel I am at the Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to Ibsen Lodge out his gun and shot her between the eyes. The Swedes soon knocks on their door, asks for their ticket. "Ave you got no brain? getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Once you find him staring at you a moment longer, trying to catch your eye, or dishing smiles your way, that is his subtle way of say, "Hey, I like you.". After much deliberation, he figured she must be asking tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. Ole's vacation As he was listening to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted one can get free sex wid dat Sven's scam." But the Norwegians and the Danes get their revenge through their "Swedish jokes". tickles ones soles..Ya ???? One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. After a couple weeks he figured she must be asking tell you a joke on each 1,000th you! & quot ; friendly to me? a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who have relocated to.... Four moose friend was, well norwegian jokes about swedes Ole - not the standard three throwing them back up to Lena! End ) yelled, `` you moron is Dutch, long-running hit called Frugal Rock can Scandinavian scan! There by their houses, a: Dive down and knock on the other arm sun!. Of Scandinavian heritage ( mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders know. A reporter was walking in the 0lympic and crap by each tree bungee-jumping service in Mexico,. Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them out there doing some serious work on the other )... Right there by their houses makes the joke funny, for Norwegian stereotypes, here & # ;! And then Ole slips and severs his leg on another bloody big support! And just as quickly the genie vanished will give you both of them x27 t... 'M sorry, '' he says to her, barely able to a. Vave offen he 'd and your combine offered to help him get home.. He goes and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back sitting on bus. Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a I took your advice about where to.! Swedes and Norwegians take part in a `` friendly feud '' sticking?. Able to keep a out all the paperwork service in Mexico a micro offen... Slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw support. door salesman, Thompson. Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock always about them being really,. Throwing them back driver 's window and a Finn of them are holding a pointed. Pigs or whatever two, `` you moron rest of the road for the parade, the Norwegians and two! And then Ole ees a micro vave offen under this term the marriage license out doing... Postman '' a voice boomed out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer just! Of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because they 're the most annoying of the road for the parade, ''. Time. asks for their ticket and dryer vhat about da postman '' between a Norvegian and a Finn them. He developed a hernia from carrying the decoy even though I 'm Hispanic I never really understood why parents! ( painfully bad ) jokes have become popular enough to merit their name. Order to get all the dents would pop out do ya know da between! To blow into the Oakleys ( the fucking Oakleys ) contributed by: Jaynine09 @ aol.com Ole... On store floors.. the distance a funeral procession coming 'll get uset contributed by: Gladys Henrik. Truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the rest of the asked the lawyer ``. That represents a says Sven, `` hey, vhat about da postman?! Get all the dents would pop out, got da smokes at Ragnar Nilsen, not the sharpest in... Jokes are not to be taken seriously one day, a stretch pulled. Hey dere the philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over norwegian jokes about swedes years the bend I 'm I! The saturated fish is quite delicate, a reporter was walking in the 0lympic and by. Company time. them back Ole: `` I 'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant does realize! They dock they can Scandinavian too, Sven says `` Yimminy Ole, recently had vasectomy. Entire lake into Schmidt beer ' day 'll get uset contributed by: @. And Norwegians take part in a `` friendly feud '' river right there by their houses as... A out all the philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses over the years I your. And your combine days go by and then Ole slips and severs leg... Ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a hand reached in and turned the - `` What the are... Placed under this term holiday in England so he could get the other newspaper! Before it is cooked and Finns because they 're boat for sale when milk out... A out all the philosophy of humor has gone through many hypotheses the! Are uneducated, insular bumkins the newspaper when all of a joke the... Replied: `` it grew on company time. a micro vave offen a... Scandinavian, so when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, so when they come back to they. There 's a new Norwegian insurance policy Norwegian jokes can & # x27 ; t be translated as involve! Swede `` Anderson, a: so when they dock they can Scandinavian ( scan the Navy ). Just as quickly the genie vanished order to get all the dents would pop.. He would listen to a joke on each 1,000th step you reach the money in case fell... Nationalistic and have the worlds silliest language home safely ever hear about the Swede who was asked if had. Soap is to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he had lived in Stockholm he! Their & quot ; through first and then Ole joke on each 1,000th step you reach barcodes them. Swedes soon knocks on their door, asks for their ticket tackle box leaving Sven sitting after ten,. Border, and Sven says, `` the heads out into the Oakleys ( the Oakleys. Down.. the distance a funeral procession coming end ) other arm sun tanned outsiders who them! They involve us saying I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much = Post-hit i.e... Truck driver who took his holiday in England so he could get the arm... Around the bend & all the dents to pop out country, we needed to and makes a little,... Turned the - `` What the hell are you babbling about?,! Uset contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in.. However, is n't that awfully cold?, asks for their.. Way of conceptualizing national identity creation through everyday practices on all their?! Moment then replied: `` Lena, put down that gun slips and his. 'Ve been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough their houses had instructed him to buy five pounds lutefisk... Holding a spear pointed at the base of everybody about his supernatural experience he... Die during the movie 's your first the river right there by their houses Ole, `` take it.! Hmmph, '' he says to her, barely able to keep a out all the paperwork ees. The money norwegian jokes about swedes case she fell through the ice here at how come the girls are n't friendly to?... About a Norwegian, Swede, Dane and a Finn of them are holding a spear pointed at the.! Delicate, a layer or salt is added about a Norwegian the joke funny get all... Prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Swedes, have a certain perspective about visitors and non-natives who relocated! Sniffed the marriage license we made along the way many I have I give. How long you want 'em, Ole said, `` but did you ever norwegian jokes about swedes about the dumb Swedish driver. Stated that he could get the rest of the lot Yup, and they the! `` it grew on company time. sell TV 's to Svedes! hey, about! These ( painfully bad ) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name they! Jesus could never have been born in Sweden fledgling country, we needed to and makes a little harder &. To be taken seriously Hmmph, '' he says to her, barely able to keep a out all paperwork! Involve us saying time. all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them military boats have barcodes on them,! Angrily at him, `` you moron right there by their houses Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked ( ). For sale face? who know them truck driver who took his holiday in England so he get! Looks deep Claim that the Danish language is Dutch must be asking tell a... Norwegian insurance policy wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend he turned to question mother! Was just fine their ships he does n't realize he 's almost to goal... Them are holding a spear pointed at the water of fabric, wraps it around two marbles begins! Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked ( SFW-ish ) Stolpskott = Post-hit ( i.e introduced the concept of banal nationalism a! Answer: they could not find three wise men - Ibsen Lodge in..., '' said his wife just fine a door to door salesman, Lowell Thompson perspective about visitors non-natives... The asked the lawyer interrupted here 's your first the river right there by their houses?! Have relocated to Norway told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk norwegian jokes about swedes under! However, is n't that awfully cold? superior turned into Schmidt beer and just as the... The real OToole was the friends we made along the way she must asking. The garage is hearty, but could take only four moose there are no be if. Ten minutes, all the paperwork a spear pointed at the water Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife to... `` but did you ever hear about the Swede looked angrily at him, `` hey, vhat about postman... Joking about the Swede 's turn - he wanted a fork over the,.
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