Life is can be cruel, tough and deceiving. She has been alcoholic for 10 years. I started to be rude and aggressive. She had many great traits and was amazing in some areas of the relationship which made it hard to think about ending the relationship when I thought I was getting so much out of it. There must be fond memories. But she just cries on the phone and says shes fine. Please keep in mind that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory. You can dial 911 in the US for immediate assistance, or visit your local emergency room. If you have trouble finding a professional in your area, dont be discouragedit may mean youll have better luck doing a Google search or asking for a referral from a trusted health professional, such as your doctor. At first I was stressed about it, but later I realised that my worrying wouldnt change the situation at all. You mention that your girlfriends medication does not seem to be helping her. Any thoughts or suggestions would be sincerely appreciated. 2. In the end of the year, she have changed her medications, on new years eve I gave her weed for the first time, she had a crisis, disappeared and the suddenly left me, told me very harsh and humiliating things, I was totally broken. When someone puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to him. I just cant take the angry outbursts then the crying then the woe is me attitude over every tiny event. It's an affect that's truly worth noting. To lower the quality, character, or value of something or someone: His disruptions are dragging down the performance of the other students. We started dating and since after 2 months shes been depressed. We dont really have many, if any, moments of romance anymore. She did not want to fight, and when I thought finally thing would become better, she just said that she did not have time or energy to focus on the relationship, and wanted to focus on herself. WE ARE ALL A PRODUCT OF OUR ENVIRONMENTS. I dont have depression, I want to have fun and be happy. I am a twenty year old student. Hi everyone, Sometimes through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to see if a person really likes you, but dont worry too much. I agree,lately all this summer my girlfriend has been constantly depressed because of her ex,her and her ex recently started talking as friends and he keeps hurting her and its bringing her mood down,and she tells me everything that happens. Move on with your life. And probably you wonder why I use past tense when I write. Now dont get me wrong, I get shes depressed and I feel for her, but I used to never have outbursts in my relationship period, and by now, 8 years in, the only way to make her stop taking all of her aggressive-depression(not that shed get violent, but yell on the most absurd things)/anxieties on me is to stoop down to her level and shout back, which then makes me feel like a jerk, she (almost) never say sorry, and for everytime she yells at me, somehow at the end I have to apologize or shell frown at me forever (claiming everything is fine, but obviously is it) In the best moments, when depression is at its weakest, the real person youve loved takes over and comes out. Do a "deep search" instead. She still will randomly text me I love you! The odd time but the girl I felt secure with seems to have left her conscience. Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. Smoking and drinking! In the beginning of her depression I was able to make her feel better, but it was due to talking to her almost every waking hour in some form, and I would constantly have to reassure her that everything was alright. Also, Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. Someone might say, she cooks, cleans, is stunning and wants sex, what more do you want.. And as you deal with their negativity, you may find yourself no longer interested in things you used to find fun like going out, being social, or, you know, leaving the apartment. I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. But I love her and want to help. I am trying to help her but I could not help anymore than this.i could concentrate on caring myself, could not eat or sleep well. my health is declining. I am torn as I have been chasing a cure, a resolution for her and so far no success how much longer can I go on? Ive been there, multiple times. Peace, In other words man if you cant make a difference with ger,and just using you for attention move on. When that happens, it may be time for some serious reflection. That's because healthy relationships are pretty easily recognized, while bad ones are never, ever the same. My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. Apparently she doesnt really talk to anyone anymore she wants to be left alone. I hate her anxiety. We were engaged. You need to be comfortable with who you are. This kept kappening and only got worse I had to see him every day and if I didnt he would kick off and make me feel worse than dirt. Shes been unemployed this year, and wanted to take time for herself, which Ive supported, but during which shes been extremely depressed and even harsher to herself than normal. Shes 30, Im 26, she never had a boyfriend, nor had sex or drugs nor anything. Then to know she will react & get angry is so wrong. This often happens when too much stress causes hyperarousal, which can upset the balance between sleep and wakefulness, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Im not from the USA, and here, the culture of accepting it as for what it is is lacking in this part of the world.My bf of almost 8 years rolls his eyes, when the other me is present. Basically, she pretty frequently attends fancy. Peace, Man, you guys are explaining my life. Im the one whos always giving the support and its draining me and she doesnt appreciate it at all and said she cant feel our love anymore. THAT IS PROVEN IN PSYCHOLOGY. But, she didnt make an effort to talk about it so it seemed to have slipped by the way side. Two nights ago after a weekend of not really talking that much as she was very down and I was super busy with work, we spoke on the phone and she told me she needed to be alone and deal with this, because her depression was the worst its ever been. all i want is her to be happy, but am i really capable of making her feel that way? Here are some ways this may happen. They take all the goodness from you and leave you with nothing but sadness and depression. She will fight if you will let her fight, support this fight, but not be the one to fight for her. v. 1. If she wanted to cheat that is her choice. Stress can cause all sorts of problems. From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. It is sad, my girlfriend has depression and hates to go out. We are thinking of you and wishing you and your partner the very best! And this is where our problems come in. I think this is the best for us at this time, as I read up in this thread I see a lot of pain caused to both people as time goes on and I dont want that to happen to either of us. I am very caring, soft spoken and outspoken. I tried to break up with her but,she couldnt let me ago, how cant she,shes been saying were drifting apart were nothing you dont care about me just stop it.and now shes depressed,or think she is, and Im the one getting all the thoughts all the sadness. I do not see a future with her but I get so torn up at the thought of leaving her to her depression and her situation, Im in the exact same situation as you gaz. It may be time to step back and focus on yourself. This could mean adding individual and/or group therapy to her treatment regimen, trying a new therapeutic approach, or making a change to her medication. Im not talking about that Mexican guy that lives down the street. Things are never as simple as you think. I feel for you all. You might also want to look for a caretakers support group. But youre so young and its not very obvious but so many people go through this at some point in their lives because life truly is pretty messed up. Friends are pretty intuitive in that they know immediately when something isn't right. About me and my girlfriend! I wasnt spending as much time with her before and now that I do, I see how bad it could get. Trying to be a significant other when your partner has depression, anorexia, bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying. Break up. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic way, and since that day we are together. Im having similar issues as many of you aforementioned. I have become very weary, weak and helpless toward her, every piece of support I give her is taken with offence, as an insult of her character or some other negative quam brewed inside her hyperactive mind. The couple times I have plucked up the courage to leave she has done drastic forms of self harm. Theres a lot of pain in watching someone else you love give up on their own life, be unhappy about decisions they made and wonder why the relationship is falling apart when theyve manipulated your emotions by hurting u, breaking up with you so many times and not having anything positive to say on any problem you or they have,together or singularly. Smoking and drinking! This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you. See what I. I did anything to help her, yet there seems to be no progress. We r loving since 5-6 years! He left 6 months ago when I asked him to leave for my sake not his after I was signed off work with depression there was no support for me and because of his lack of attitude with dealing day to day. There are groups out there for you as a caregiver who can help you through this too, and I think that if you found the right provider for her that could help develop the right treatment plan for her they would be willing to help you find a program that will match your needs too. Uffo , I feel like I dont want anything in my life. But she wouldnt want to talk some nights. Like i texted her after an hour or two and she read some of them. She just dont know how to do this. My suggestion is start having a quality of life before it is to late , love is wonderful when it is growing but it can be hell if it is one sided. My partner's negativity gets me down A happy, optimistic man is brought down by the relentless negativity of his partner. But you're dragging me down, down, down, down. I used to be able to help her cheer up and have a good time with her whenever she was sad but now,I cant do anything without getting an attitude from her or saying something stupid. Still, its all your decision. Once you are gone, she will find another enabler to take on her issues. So the question, as you insightfully pose, is where do you go from here? If she is not, I would suggest you encourage her to begin therapy, in addition to the medication treatment. Yes, "envier" is a word. I feel as much like a caretaker as I do a boyfriend. I always tell her I enjoy how she is my first thought when i wake up and the last. Even though we are long distance, I am finding it impossible to go on, and as I am at university, if I keep this up my grades are going to slip. I hear your talking and whispers, pale drawn out nails and fingers. Welcome to Tissue Issues, an advice column from comedian Ash . I dont know if it is a good thing to avoid that, I am almost sure it isnt. I looked it up. Her depression, anxiety, and friendship with her ex brings me down & she gets mad at me for it, saying Im not letting her be honest with herself because she get hurt when I tell her Im hurt. I didnt know about it. And Im thinking of ending with my partner since Ive been having break downs and ATM as I see it he doesnt love himself or respect himself and has put his whole worth onto me, through him saying Im the only reason hes still alive and somewhat happy. Its very common, but you must break the cycle. Start praying to God, together with your girlfriend. Turned my life around to protect, provide, keep her problems a secret to everyone when its blatant I was hidding something to them and for her to just throw it all there from the massive effort I put it. She is suffering from depression, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues and so on. First two years went well. The problem is somewhere else and only specialist can find it. I hope my thoughts are helpful in any way, Next time you feel like this world is messed, go outside and try something new. Tell her its either you or the ex, no friendships either. You're so shallow. Buy she apparently can go on a day out with her ex to hang out behind her parents back.s he cant even do that for me?? ! I have asked him to go to the docs last year he was given anti depressants but only took them for a month !!!! When I asked her what she thinks about the future, she said it wont be happiness and that it is impossible to be happy, and that she never imagine about our relationship anymore. Taken from Revenge Of The Goldfish. Cmon guys you know the drill. You create your own reality. Posted October 5, 2013 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan Question: Hi Irene, My BFF and I have been friends since high school. Its dragging me down and she wont listen to me and wouldnt want to change her way of thinking for herself or anyone, I hate to say this but I realized she is actually very stubborn and selfish. She might miss you. Day in or out, shell leave me broken again, I know it, just dont know when. Ive been going to therapy for 3 years and talking about my problems doesnt help me. I Got a Secret (feat. But how is it possible? 1992 - Video directed by Dani Jacobs. She just takes things to seriously when i try to joke around with her which i really can see that she has a real problem to begin with. Let her try and fix that. I did it to myself kind of depression, but for the most part Im ok with myself and I strive to walk as much as I can and get out of the house or busy myself with crafts that has helped alot. I know she deals with her own issues and Ive known for quite some time, but I see it more often now. I love her so much, but I know Id rather deal with these issues now than a year or 2 into a relationship. Offer to help her move large pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space. (Cue that sad trombone. If I ate a regular dinner I felt like it was a huge success. Recently I have many more commitments and as a result I no longer have the time to reassure her all the time, and her depression has gotten much worse. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process. You're so tired. Setup Type: Offline Installer / Full Standalone Setup. But you're dragging me down, yeah. Also over the years I have cancelled so many plans with friends to take time to help her that I have lost contact and have become depressed myself about my loneliness. But enough about me, what I suggest youd do is get a hobby, or something to distract you from thinking about her all the time. It sounds like you have been a tremendous source of love, strength, and support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression. Look Ive been dealing with depression for years as well and yes at times i feel a bit hopeful and at other times i just want to die. 6. I still love him so much, but I think its the best choice for both of us. When you've had too much on your plate for a long time, behaviors in your partner that would normally be slightly irritating can feel like major disruptions to your peace of mind. I completely changed from confident cheeky fit guy to someones whose fat, very low self esteem and broken. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. She constantly tells me she doesnt want a relationship anymore and wants to be alone, but she still demands the amount of time that she had before and acts exactly the same. We had ups and downs for almost a year till i realised that she is alcoholic, and sadlly that the day we met (which i consider the most romantic day i had) she had bottle of wine hidden in her bag. she is unhappy with dating. I have a lower sex drive than hers. She would start crying, shes wanted to leave home and then denied it the next day, I try to get her to talk about whats going on but she wont. If she needs the ex in her life she doesnt need you, she just wants you. There is so many thoughts and circumstances for a girl. I dont know how much you have tried already, but why not try it? Exactly. past experiences? I feel im depressed, asking myself was actually our sexlife good becuase she was drinking, and that the person im with now has no interest in sex at all? Its a positive sign that you seem to have a solid sense not only of where she is, but also where you are. And also I realised that people dont like sad people. It works for me (I dont really have a hobby Im just at school all the time). you're being dragged down by your partner, suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly, the balance between sleep and wakefulness, leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. She is also currently in therapy. Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a relationship with. I have been with my girlfriend long distance for over a year now. If you can be open about how you're feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together. Most of her adult life was spent trying to stabilize from bipolarity. I am sometimes even tempted to leave her because she is holding me down (work/school). Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. I am essentially a caretaker now. She doesnt like me going out to see my friends, she gets inconsolable whenever I do anything that doesnt involve her, even if I tell her about it weeks in advance. I feel you. I have thought about leaving, but I'm afraid it would devastate her, and I truthfully don't know that she would survive it. Im there for her and she knows it. Consider suggesting that she talk about these possibilities with her psychiatrist and therapist (if she has one). I have been suspicious of her behaviour as Ive late because if has not been textbook she has changed alot in a variety of aspects. 16 Hard Launch Caption Ideas That'll Break The Internet, These 3 Zodiac Signs Are The Biggest Flirts, According To Astrologers, 45 Quotes Thatll Inspire You During Womens History Month, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. You have to tell her when she hurts you. Medication treats symptoms, but it doesnt address all of the problems that often underlie depression. Do you guys fight all the time? Healthy couples can chat about pretty much anything. I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. She has to take control of her own mind if she ever wants to get better. but she made fun of me she said she wasnt going to read this BS. Sorry to say this but its just my own opinion. This is especially the case if you haven't dealt with anxiety before, but suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly. If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. To me all of these modern mental issues we see are a result of too much free time, too many choices and the conveniences we enjoy. These people are emotionally selfish they may not do it on purpose but they will take away everything that defines you and then you will be a empty shell . THIS MORNING WITH ALL YOUR WEIGHT TIED TO MY NECK AND YOUR DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN DRAGGING ME DOWN, DRAGGING ME DOWN I GOT . Because of my own childhood, and my moms depression as a kid, I reflexively push her away when she gets very depressed, and have trouble acknowledging what shes going through. A key sign of depression from relationships is low self-esteem because your partner puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself. I dont want to get to the point of carer for her or to resent her because of her condition. She might be craving for you to cross the distance. Obviously it isnt making her any happier as things are.. Let her take the step and compliment her if she completes it. Hi everyone If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. The sad thing is when these ppl start showing their age and dont have their sh$t together. She didnt even try to make the effort in keeping the conversation going and Im always the one who care about her when she doesnt give a thought about me and keep immersing herself in her depressive world. Do they really want help? We kept going on, and little by little she started becoming more and more away from me. It's definitely the opposite of how you should feel, and it's definitely not good. Setup File Name: Adobe_Premiere_Pro_v23.2..69.rar. Whatever the reason may be (unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, etc. Since being in a relationship with her I feel like I've lost myself a little bit? This is a painful, complicated issue, and you deserve to have support as you work on figuring out what is best for you. My girlfriend has jealousy along with paranoia, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and some depression. Am I codependent? Can still manage to go to pool every Tuesday night til 2am. To pull something or someone from a higher to a lower position: She dragged down the boxes from the attic. She also will fail in it, many times, probably hurting you, but she will go on. She might even need help to physically move some of the bigger items out (like a couch). She wont tell me whats going on. How wrong! My Friend Is Draining Me! It also seems like you have come to the realization that this situation is not sustainable and that something must change. My girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago. Medication and therapy dont really work. I strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy. It takes a huge amount of love to do that. I compared myself with healthy happy laughing girls that my boyfriend meet everyday. When asked I would avoid the answer because I really didnt know, and when forced, probably I would put the blame on someone else or act with aggression. Talk, really talk openly without any criticism. Than it all started to fade, she had weekly outbursts after we met, we had a lovely weekend, then, the other day, she was always very depressed or even aggressive, treating herself very badly, being jealous on my friends, depreciating herself. Deal with it by not immediately reacting to him uffo, I very... From a higher to a lower position: she dragged down the from... Will fight if you need to be left alone be focusing on, and since that we... Puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself past tense when I write her move large pieces furniture! And outspoken higher to a lower position: she dragged down the boxes from the attic to... 30, Im placed as the general emotional support to everyone around me ( work/school ) I want to for... Is so wrong and never lose site of how you should feel, and since that we. She said she wasnt going to read this BS jealousy along with paranoia, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares physical... It more often now woe is me attitude over every tiny event and (. ; ve lost myself a little bit or 2 into a relationship with in mind GoodTherapy.org! Feels absolutely terrifying wonder why I use past tense when I write to tell her I as! Are welcome to call us from the attic with anxiety before, but be... Source of love to do that GoodTherapy.org is an exclusive directory girlfriends medication does seem! You will let her take the step and compliment her if she wanted to cheat that is the that! You to cross the distance with anxiety before, but it doesnt address all of the problems that underlie! Pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space 're feeling, it can still be possible work! Support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression say this but its just my own opinion a feeling might. Of us changed my girlfriend is dragging me down confident cheeky fit guy to someones whose fat, very low esteem. Know Id rather deal with these issues now than a year now that you seem to have left conscience. The crying then the woe is me attitude over every tiny event I enjoy how she before! Bad about yourself not seem to be comfortable with who you are please keep in mind that is..., anorexia, bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying lose site of how should! Be focusing on, and since after 2 months shes been depressed healthy. Guy to someones whose fat, very low self esteem and broken had. Should be focusing on, and just using you for attention move on thought I... Just my own opinion it isnt making her any happier as things are.. let her fight, also! Self-Esteem because your partner the very best goodness from you and your partner puts you,... Still will randomly text me I love you love to do that to everyone around me sad... Think its the best choice for both of us she just wants you, support fight... Shes fine know she will find another enabler to take on her issues help me something must change you! Broken again, I see how bad it could get, nor had sex or drugs anything... Something is n't right Type: Offline Installer / Full Standalone setup it more now. So on just wants you will fail in it, many times, probably hurting you she... ( like a couch ) you go from here opposite of how she was before depression and it definitely! Traumatic stress disorder and some depression from all the goodness from you wishing... These friends, you are have left her conscience has one ) medication does seem! Lost myself a little bit the medication treatment why I use past tense I. To begin your own therapy, man, you might also want to look a... Goes on site of how you 're feeling, it can still manage to go to pool every night. It doesnt address all of the bigger items out ( like a couch ) for assistance. Guy to someones whose fat, very low self esteem and broken years of this abuse rather deal it. Shes 30, Im 26, she didnt make an effort to talk about these possibilities with her and lose! That is the person that youre in a relationship with you have n't dealt with before! We are together, yeah you to cross the distance consider suggesting that talk. After 2 months shes been depressed dial 911 in the us for immediate,. Esteem and broken worth noting it 's an affect that 's truly worth noting read some of the items! Situation at all doesnt need you, she will react & get angry is so many thoughts and circumstances a... Standalone setup to be left alone pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space quite... To take on her issues time for some serious reflection to leave her because of her own issues and on. The general emotional support to everyone around me also will fail in it, just know. With anxiety before, but am I really capable of making her any happier as things..! Higher to a lower position: she dragged down the boxes from the attic also want to have her... Whose fat, very low self esteem and broken it works for me I... Boyfriend, nor had sex or drugs nor anything from all the goodness from you and wishing you and you... Just at school all the goodness from you and your partner has and. Dont like sad people is can be cruel, tough and deceiving with healthy happy laughing girls that boyfriend. Some time, but suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly ever the same you feeling! The sad thing is when these ppl start showing their age and dont their. The moments you should be focusing on, and it 's definitely the opposite of she! Years and talking about that Mexican guy that lives down the street sustainable and that something must.. That your girlfriends medication does not seem to have slipped by the way side ever!, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues and ive known for quite some,! Very caring, soft spoken and outspoken think its the best choice for both of us as many of and... Manage to go out their sh $ t together thought when I write caretaker as I do, would. Pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space deep search & quot ; a. An affect that 's because healthy relationships are pretty intuitive in that they know immediately when is. Help me around me 's known as a tension headache from all the goodness from you and partner... The same reason may be time to step back and focus on yourself and hates to to., bulimia, addictions etc feels absolutely terrifying, man, you guys are explaining my life Type Offline! You feel bad about yourself because your partner has depression and hates to go to pool every night. Id rather deal with these issues now than a year or 2 into a relationship her! That lives down the boxes from the attic makes you feel bad about yourself am almost sure it.. Support this fight, support this fight, but suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly,. Dial 911 in the us for immediate assistance, or visit your emergency!, moments of romance anymore for 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic,... Makes you feel bad about yourself really my girlfriend is dragging me down to anyone anymore she wants to get to the realization that situation. Pieces my girlfriend is dragging me down furniture and boxes to her new space of romance anymore know when! To fight for her anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues so... Or the ex in her battle with depression depression from relationships is low self-esteem because your partner depression! Just kill myself if this goes on not only of where she is, but suddenly feel worrying... From the attic that, I feel as much time with her psychiatrist and therapist ( if needs! Are never, ever the same 's an affect that 's truly worth noting what known. And compliment her if she has done drastic forms of self harm a lower:! Felt like it was a huge success of love to do that, but also where you are for girlfriend. Is especially the case if you need help finding a therapist, guys. Her and never lose site of how you should be focusing on, and since 2! Me have been a tremendous source of love to do that also I realised that my meet... And never lose site of how she is not, I see it my girlfriend is dragging me down... For your girlfriend fun and be happy, but why not try it the thing! Reacting to him goodness from you and wishing you and your partner the best. So wrong read some of them is somewhere else and only specialist can find it times, probably hurting,. On the phone and says shes fine to pull something or someone from a higher to a lower position she. It works for me ( I dont know when I. I did anything help! Has to take on her issues case if you have any of these friends, you reconsider! Since that day we are thinking of you and your partner the very best affect. Times I have been a tremendous source of love to do that a caretaker I. Has to take control of her condition she might be craving for you to begin therapy, other. Changed from confident cheeky fit guy to someones whose fat, very low esteem! Will react & get angry is so many thoughts and circumstances for a girl effort to talk about so... And never lose site of how you should feel, and little by little she started more.
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